Secrecy Vs Privacy

Secrets make you sick. In therapy, we know that holding secrets can cause profound distress, emotionally and physically. Repressed memories, suppressed shame, and ignored guilt can all weigh on us until the stress comes out sideways. Irritability, cognitive malfunction, somatic complaints and other side effects can erupt from keeping secrets. We all benefit when weContinue reading “Secrecy Vs Privacy”

Why Nature Should Be Part of Your Plan

“Try to get out for a walk today.” “See if you can get a few minutes of sunshine on your break.” “Sit by pond for a bit after work.” These are the sort of gentle suggestions I give my therapy clients as one part of their treatment plan. They are not formal assignments or mandates,Continue reading “Why Nature Should Be Part of Your Plan”

Therapy for People Who Don’t Want Therapy

Your loved ones are concerned about you. They think you need to talk to a counselor. Counseling has helped them, and they want you to get the same benefit. Only… You don’t want to talk. You have no experience with therapy or counseling, or you had a counselor once who missed the mark, made youContinue reading “Therapy for People Who Don’t Want Therapy”

“If there’s anything you need”/ How to Help a Hurting Person

Last week’s blog was on the common experience of not wanting to be too “needy.” This fear often keeps people from seeking or accepting support in their time of need. When working with people who have lost a loved one- or even people who are just going through a rough patch in life- I hearContinue reading ““If there’s anything you need”/ How to Help a Hurting Person”

I Don’t Want to Be “Needy”

Needy. The word triggers cringes and wrinkled noses when used in the context of one’s intense desire to connect with others. This is often a topic in the world of dating, but also with friendships, relationships of parents with their adult children and other types of relationships. In some cases, the word “needy” is usedContinue reading “I Don’t Want to Be “Needy””

“I’m Doing Okay” (but I’m not)

One of the most dreaded questions for people who are grieving is, “How are you doing?” Where does one even begin to answer that question after a loss? There seems to be a perception that if we are not puddles in a heap on the floor, soaking in a pool of our own tears, weContinue reading ““I’m Doing Okay” (but I’m not)”

Grief Brain

An unexpected part of grief is the experience of “grief brain.” Because of the intensity of emotion and mental load that grief requires, cognitive function can decline temporarily. Grieving people may forget things often, lose words when speaking, repeat themselves unknowingly, blank on someone’s name, or feel unable to plan. This phenomenon is so common,Continue reading “Grief Brain”

“Anxiety” and “Stress”

Recently I worked with a client who wanted help with her anxiety. She worked full time, was in school, had a family and had significant crises to contend with. She had a history of anxiety and panic attacks, so wanted support as soon as possible. After hearing an overview from her I said, “You haveContinue reading ““Anxiety” and “Stress””

Staying Afloat in Grief- A Very Personal Story

“I just almost called mom to tell her my mom is dying.” My stunned face and dropped jaw drove the point home to my sister as I walked away from our mom’s living room hospital bed to get a little fresh air. Mom was a fixture in our lives. She was the default co-parent toContinue reading “Staying Afloat in Grief- A Very Personal Story”