Secrecy Vs Privacy

Secrets make you sick. In therapy, we know that holding secrets can cause profound distress, emotionally and physically. Repressed memories, suppressed shame, and ignored guilt can all weigh on us until the stress comes out sideways. Irritability, cognitive malfunction, somatic complaints and other side effects can erupt from keeping secrets. We all benefit when weContinue reading “Secrecy Vs Privacy”

Why Nature Should Be Part of Your Plan

“Try to get out for a walk today.” “See if you can get a few minutes of sunshine on your break.” “Sit by pond for a bit after work.” These are the sort of gentle suggestions I give my therapy clients as one part of their treatment plan. They are not formal assignments or mandates,Continue reading “Why Nature Should Be Part of Your Plan”

What Are the Stages of Grief?

The “Stages of Grief” that people refer to often are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. These stages, however, were never meant to describe the process of grief after a death. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the psychiatrist who proposed those stages in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” was studying the processes of terminally ill patientsContinue reading “What Are the Stages of Grief?”

Grieving What Never Was

Sometimes the intense grief we experience when someone dies is expected. You can’t imagine living without your devoted mother or your beloved son. Their presence in your life was enriching and comforting and special, so to lose that is obviously painful. But what happens when we lose someone with whom we had a bad relationship?Continue reading “Grieving What Never Was”

Grieving Someone in Active Addiction

“She’s still alive. I mean thank God for that. But I still feel like I’ve lost her, and no one understands my grief.” Several years ago, a therapy client came to me with this about her adult daughter.                 If you have ever had a friend or loved one in the throes of addiction, theContinue reading “Grieving Someone in Active Addiction”

It’s Not Your Fault (but now it’s your responsibility)

So many clients come to counseling to get help from a therapist for reactions that they no longer want to perpetuate. As adults, trying to navigate the world and especially relationships with others, they begin to see patterns and responses in ourselves that are at times unsavory. Perhaps they yell at their children, get insecureContinue reading “It’s Not Your Fault (but now it’s your responsibility)”

Therapy for People Who Don’t Want Therapy

Your loved ones are concerned about you. They think you need to talk to a counselor. Counseling has helped them, and they want you to get the same benefit. Only… You don’t want to talk. You have no experience with therapy or counseling, or you had a counselor once who missed the mark, made youContinue reading “Therapy for People Who Don’t Want Therapy”