Grieving Someone in Active Addiction

“She’s still alive. I mean thank God for that. But I still feel like I’ve lost her, and no one understands my grief.” Several years ago, a therapy client came to me with this about her adult daughter.                 If you have ever had a friend or loved one in the throes of addiction, theContinue reading “Grieving Someone in Active Addiction”

It’s Not Your Fault (but now it’s your responsibility)

So many clients come to counseling to get help from a therapist for reactions that they no longer want to perpetuate. As adults, trying to navigate the world and especially relationships with others, they begin to see patterns and responses in ourselves that are at times unsavory. Perhaps they yell at their children, get insecureContinue reading “It’s Not Your Fault (but now it’s your responsibility)”

The Grief of a Breakup

To recognize the intense grief that a breakup can trigger, we can look at some of the things that may be lost when a marriage or relationship ends: A companion A housemate Help Sex In-laws Friends of theirs Social experiences A confidante Daily routines Traditions An ally Touch Inside jokes Financial support Your imagined futureContinue reading “The Grief of a Breakup”

Boundaries as Gates

I’m noticing a trend of concern when it comes to the concept of boundaries. It seems that the word “boundary” is being misunderstood as being synonymous with the word “rule,” and I worry that in many cases this misunderstanding leads to disconnection and alienation in relationships. In the literal sense, boundary means the designation ofContinue reading “Boundaries as Gates”


When working with clients, particularly those grieving, they often pause and stumble while trying to describe a certain feeling that they can’t put words to. “Unmoored?” I ask. “YES! Exactly!” they say. Unmoored. It means adrift. Uncertain. Floundering, Insecure. Un-secured. It is how we feel when we have let go of the swinging vine beforeContinue reading ““Unmoored””

Therapeutic Writing

If you don’t like to write, consider reading this through anyway! It has helped so many “non-writers” and it may help you too.                 My regular clients will tell you that I encourage writing in many forms as part of our counseling process. While I specialize in grief, I also work with clients who haveContinue reading “Therapeutic Writing”

Grief for the Failing Body

“Time and health are two precious assets that we don’t recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.” -Dr. Denis Waitley, author and speaker                 *Your doctor tells you that your best hope is a colostomy                 or                 *The fingers on your right hand have been going numb- and now they don’t work                Continue reading “Grief for the Failing Body”

Unexpected Comforts

At times, the intensity of grief leaves us feeling like nothing could bring relief. Our sorrow is too deep, our despair too consuming. Yet somehow, we find unexpected comforts in the throes of our grief, and these become tiny lifelines that keep us from drowning. If you have not yet experienced any such comforts, pleaseContinue reading “Unexpected Comforts”